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A really cool headline should go here, yours perhaps?

Donuts. Is there anything they can't do? Our differences are only skin deep, but our sames go down to the bone. Oh, I'm in no condition to drive. Wait a minute. I don't have to listen to myself. I'm drunk. I hope I didn't brain my damage.

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Multiple backgrounds with ease!

Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get. Here's to alcohol, the cause of — and solution to — all life's problems. Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!

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What you still waiting for?

Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true! Books are useless! I only ever read one book, "To Kill A Mockingbird," and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin…but what good does *that* do me?

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